• Corey Deitz

Now Showing: "The Hamburger Helpless"

Not sure whether you realize how lucky you are that you didn't die today. Oh yeah: every single day there's another reason why you're living on borrowed time because the climate is changing and you're about to take a dirt nap. 12 years, 10 years, next week, who knows? It keeps changing but rest assured: one day a cloud is going to drop on your head and flatten you like a bug, you wretched human.

You'll be dead but not useless! Why?

Good news! A Swedish professor now says we should get used to the idea of eating people because you see: eating dead grandma will help save the climate. From here it's about as fuzzy as Kim Kardashian on a no-shave vacation but he did make a PowerPoint about it so I guess that's all the evidence we need.

So, let's review: first it was don't eat the meat - eat the plants. Then it was don't eat the plants - eat the bugs. Now, it's just eat the dead people because you'll kill two birds with one stone: less methane-spewing cows will be needed and let's face it there's nothing tastier than a burger made made from the earth-raping carbon footprint formerly known as your idiotic neighbor.

(Yes, he was an idiot but I just wanted him to move - not wind up on my barbecue!)

This guy - and anyone who adds credence to his moronic theory - should be laughed at and ignored for the buffoons they are. We've entered the Nut Job Era of humanity and one day when rational people write history they'll recall how misguided and mentally disturbed civilization was for a while.

My suggestion? Live dangerously and go eat some cow today because somebody has to push back on these meatheads who are basically the Hamburger Helpless of our age.

#ClimateChange #SoylentGreenIsPeople #PeopleBurgers

Hey Look at Me: I'm Killing the World One Bite at a Time!! And it's Delicious!

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© 2020 Corey Deitz

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